Pass the Fat

I don't think I'm too far off base when I say "people of my generation are pretty big". If you look at the title of this blog you can tell I'm no exception. When I came of age food was of no importance. Finding your inner self was important. Finding new ways to bend your thoughts was important. Food was what you had when you got lucky and "crashed" at someone's house that just happened to have something edible in the refrigerator. "Anyone know how to cook these pizza rolls?" When the time came to put away our inner self and get jobs we found we could finally afford to go into a supermarket and buy our own food. And man did we. Who knew food could be such a good replacement for inner peace. There was some control in that food took so long to cook. You wanted to over eat but it took too long. Big bushiness had the answer. MICROWAVE OVENS! You want popcorn with extra butter give me 3 minutes. How about bean and cheese burritos? Got an extra 60 seconds. Wanna find out how dependent we've become on these little metal boxes? Put your favorite left overs on a plate. Ummm left-over pork chops and corn. Now un-plug your microwave. Now figure out how to heat up your left-overs. Maybe we just didn't eat left-overs in the sixties. To busy rolling you know what. Let's end the horror and plug that baby back in. Of course that still leaves us with a little problem: stomachs that enter a room a few seconds before us. Well science is working hard on helping us. New exercise machines that are "fun". In fact they do most of the work for you. The little white pills you can take. They burn off all that fat inside you. Question. How do those pills know to burn just fat and not something else like ,oh I don't know, your liver? Of course there's plenty of diets to try. Eat all you want and still lose weight. My favorite is the no carb diets. Atkins and such. Let me see if I've got this right. For breakfast I can eat a pound of bacon, half a dozen eggs covered in cheese and all I have to do is skip the toast. Sign me up. Ah the miracle of science. Gotta go I hear a side of beef mooing for me. Bon appetite.