When did I become so uncool? I slid right from that 19 to 45 age that all advertisers crave to that group that craves early bird specials at the buffet restaurant. Now I'm in that black socks with sandals generation. Turn down that noise you call music! That's not rock. Rock is music performed by the greats: Led Zepplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jackson Five. I'm old enough to remember when MTV actually played music videos. You kids with your IPods. Your MP3s. Little music from little machines. My generations' music was big, BIG! Big radios with big 8track tapes. Big speakers the size of refrigerators. Big 12" records that scratched the first time you played them. Back then to scratch a record was BAD (and I don't mean good). Big music festivals like the US festival and California Jam. Big clouds of dust and smoke would rise from the big fields we would stand in to listen and see our gods. Black Sabbath, Emerson Lake and Palmer, that's all I can remember. I had a pretty BIG buzz back then. In the olden days (like 1975) when you got the 2am munchies you had to settle for Jack in the Box. Nothing else was open. And man I mean nothing. " Yeah mister clown I would like 12 Jumbo Jacks and 12 French fries and 1 diet Coke. Hey you guys want anything?" I pity this generation never knowing what fun it is to wake up in the morning on your bedroom floor with a mouth full of avocado green shag carpet and puka shells all knotted in your long hippie hair. Man those were the days. Gotta go now. That old bastard at table six is making a run for the last of the bread pudding. Peace and Love.