REAL MEN DON'T SLEEP (we pee)

You want to know how to tell exactly what your age is? When your in your comfy chair tonight watching your favorite shows on TV pay attention to the ads. What are they trying to sell you? If it's condoms and beer you're not as old as I am. If it's hair products and fast food you're not only younger than me but your probably a female. If it's stuff to make you pee less, sleep more and be ready to stand at attention when sexy-sexy time comes welcome to my world. I guess men my age lay in bed all night while bright lamps float over our heads. When were out of bed we spend all our time running to find a bathroom. Forget about sex unless you take the right pill. That brings up a question. If you have an erection that last over four hours is that really a problem? I may call my doctor about it but it may be just to brag. In fact I'd have to fight the urge to show it to the world. Check it out world. Three hours and counting. Can't help it world it's just the way I am. How cool would it be not having to use your hands to point. Main St. why that's right over there. Anyway what the hell was I talking about? Oh yeah, ads. How do the people on Madison Ave. know what shows I'm gonna watch. Is it just guys my age that are watching old re-runs like Combat! and Bonanza? Is my generation the only one interested in the history of metal? What's not to like about ore? And if it wasn't for televised baseball games I wouldn't get any sleep at all. That's why I like TCM so much. Turner Classic Movies shows nothing but old movies 24/7. Most of them in black and white. If your under forty you may be thinking why the hell would any one watch something with only two colors. Because I'm older than you and that's the way I like it. Another positive for TCM is no commercials. Nothing to remind me how old I am and how much I need to pick the right MediCare plan. Meanwhile turn that crap down and get the hell off my lawn. In fact don't even walk in front of my house anymore. It may mess up my reception.