A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOUR TWEET

We are so close to tech nirvana. We are on the cusp of the new human. Soon we will be a new class of living creatures. Bow down to the new order.

First off. Did you see me at the mall recently? Walking about shoving a mall corn dog into my yapper. Nope. I don't think so. How about at the movie theater on Saturday night? Shuffling into the dark cave with hundreds pushing and shoving all about me, while I try to balance my eight dollar popcorn in near darkness. Nope. That little walk reminds me too much of the scene in the movie The Time Machine. When the whistle blew we all faced the dark rock and like zombies moved forward. On to our doom! Thirty minutes of commericals and trailers. Look for me at the blue light specials of our local Kmart and you shall be disappointed. For I shall not be there.

No sir. Not when the good folks with names like Jobs and Gates has made it almost possible for me to live my life all within the safety and comfort of my home. This is a revolution. A sofa, a computer with Internet, a TV with a few hundred channels, a video game console, I could go on and on. Netflix keeps the movies coming. Amazon lets me have books tossed on the front porch. I can order groceries and have them delivered. Itunes lets me dance where no one can see me. Hell I can even have a $10 pizza in thirty minutes. Ten bucks! You can't make one that cheap in your kitchen! I pay bills without ever going to the post office. And I can grow pretend crops on a pretend farm. All this and more without ever talking to another human being. In fact now that I think about it I can have contact with my fellow earthlings without talking to them. I'll just text them.

Heaven on earth! What can I say as I wipe a tear away from my eye. Wait I have to IM someone: OMG GTHOML (get the hell off my lawn)!