WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

What do plumbers, kids, college students and animals all have in common? They are all searching for ghost.

And for some reason I am fascinated. I watch almost all of them on TV. Sometimes for hours. This type of program seems to be the new craze right now. Almost every network has a ghost hunting show on. The Travel channel. The Fine Living channel. A&E. On and on. I'm not sure how searching for ghost has anything to do with travel or living fine but this seems to be a common link for many networks. At least the Food Network hasn't jumped on the bandwagon YET. But I can see the possibilities. "TONIGHT WE SEARCH FOR, FIND AND COOK WITH THE SPIRIT OF LIZZIE BORDEN!" What would the main course be? What else but chopped steak. (Sorry.)

I guess we watch hoping to see some type of real proof of an afterlife. I don't think it's to be scared. Trust me. Watching some guy run around on a little island in Italy with a big nose mask on yelling in f*#ked up Italian does not scare me. If you watch Ghost Adventures you know what I'm talking about.

So I sit watching a bunch of grown people run around in pitch darkness for hours waiting for a spirit to make themselves known. I hope for that undeniable video proof that shows our afterlife is spent in another dimension. But what do I get? Static. Static that can pretty much sound like whatever you want it to sound like. What do you hear? Um noise? Listen again. Don't you hear a voice saying "I want a donut. Booooo." Now that you mention it yes I think I hear that.
Or the jerk of the head and the scream DID YOU SEE THAT?!? No we the audience didn't see that. Because the camera is never pointed at THAT. It's always pointed at you looking at that. How about that flying orb of dust? Or the shadow crossing in front of the camera that sure looks like one of the team members? Wow. Haunted by dust and shadows. But still I get suckered in every time just before a commercial break when one of the team member yells out WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? Of course I sit through the commercials so I too can see what the hell that was only to find out is was a spider. What the hell is a spider doing in an old abandon haunted building? Stupid spider.

But I watch and watch I will continue to do. And hope I will that someday proof will come. A spirit will come forth grab a donut smile at the camera then walk through a wall. It could happen. Wait! Did you hear that? FOOTSTEPS! For real I hear footsteps. Damn, it's just my wife getting out of bed and coming for her morning coffee.